How to Avoid Being Collateral Damage - Forgiveness

In the last post we talked about how to stay strong when all is shaken. The other side of this is when someone else is shaken and you become collateral damage  - injustice, betrayal, abuse, loss... or being in close proximity to someone who is directly affected and you pick up the offense.

We have seen far too many people knocked out of their joy or calling or confidence or faith because of the collateral damage of someone else's sin.

It's not ok.

So how do you ensure that you avoid becoming collateral damage?

Here's three things to navigate the shaking things and people around you:

1. Remember who the real enemy is.

It's really easy to forget that we are in a war with the father of lies - the devil, who hates you without limits and only wants to steal kill and destroy. 

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians 6:12

Be alert and of sober mind (vigilant). Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

1 Peter 5:8

ACTION: Pray continually and stay engaged in regular corporate worship. Don't be isolated... it's the fastest way to becoming an easy target for all sorts of stupid.

2. Take heed you who stand, lest you fall.

The moment you think you would NEVER do 'that' and the moment you start to pass judgment or spread gossip, you have become part of the problem.

So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! 

1 Corinthians 10:12

Gossip is any time you spread a matter with someone when you are not part of the problem or part of the solution. in the bible, gossip is also called being a 'whisperer' and one who sows discord or one who separates close friends. God hates it. So should we.

ACTION: If you have an offense with someone go to that someone and have a conversation. If someone else starts to gossip to you, tell the that you want to help them solve the problem - tell them they have 24hrs to either go to the one they are gossiping about or you will. Close the gap!

3. Embrace a lifestyle of forgiveness... FROM THE HEART

Jesus said if we don't forgive from the heart, that we would be handed over to 'tormentors' until we did. Far too many people are walking in the pain and torment of unforgiveness... 

Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’  Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

“That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart."

Matthew 18:32-35

And remember, our forgiveness is not dependent on someone's (lack of) repentance. However, regaining trust only happens after experiencing the fruit of repentance.

ACTION: Here's six questions that a friend, Steve Box gave me to connect with the heart and truly forgive. Get alone with God and process this with Him. Write it down then speak out loud E) and F). 

A) What happened?

B) How did it make you feel?

C) What was lost or stolen as a result?

D) What are the ongoing affects (missed opportunity or potential...)

E) Now with all this in mind, release forgiveness, from the heart.

F) Finally speak blessing over the person you have just forgiven.

If this has been helpful, please share it with someone who would also benefit and send us the testimonies that unfold as a result. Send testimonies to [email protected]

And finally, join us in-person at an upcoming conference, retreat or workshop near you: HeaveninBusiness.com/events