Necessary Endings: Embracing Change for Greater Impact
Jan 23, 2025Recently, I stumbled across some notes on my computer about Dr. Henry Cloud’s book Necessary Endings. They immediately caught my attention because they aligned with multiple conversations I’ve had lately, where I found myself recommending this book to others. It seems to be a recurring theme—so many of us know we need to let go of certain things in our lives but struggle to take action.
Dr. Cloud’s analogy of pruning a tree stood out to me then, and it feels even more relevant now. Before we start cutting away, we need to have a vision for what we want the tree—or in this case, our life—to look like. He identifies three areas that require pruning:
- Good things that aren’t aligned with your vision.
- Dead things you’re tolerating but need to let go.
- Toxic things that hinder growth.
As I reviewed my notes, I was reminded of the clarity I experienced when I first heard this. At the time, it inspired me to evaluate my own life and take a fresh look at the areas where I was stuck, distracted, or simply off-course.
As I listened, I had a lightbulb moment. While I’ve experienced tremendous growth in various areas of life, I realized I’ve been like an overgrown bush—lots of branches but not enough focus on what truly matters.
Inspired by this, I grabbed my journal and outlined my vision for my life, followed by my core values—the non-negotiables that shape how I pursue that vision. Then, I took it a step further by asking myself two challenging questions:
- Where am I AWOL (away without leave)? What areas of my life have I disengaged from, either out of fear, procrastination, or distraction?
- Where am I MIA (missing in action)? What critical actions have I avoided or neglected, even when I know they’re essential?
This process forced me to face some hard truths. For example, I had avoided starting a podcast, even though God and others had confirmed its importance. Two years prior, I attended a podcasting course with Cliff Ravenscraft, recorded a few episodes, and then let excuses get in the way. Whether it was fear of the technical side or being overwhelmed, I simply didn’t follow through.
Similarly, writing—another core aspect of my calling—had taken a backseat. Life got busy with family challenges, unexpected crises, and countless distractions. But I knew these excuses didn’t excuse me from doing what I’m called to do.
A month after hearing Dr. Cloud, I made a decision. I set aside the urgent and noisy distractions, took a Monday morning, and focused on writing a blog and starting our next book. That simple act of alignment brought so much joy. I was finally back in my seat, doing what I was created to do.
Fast forward to this year. We have had a sense it's time to revisit the process of vision and fruitfulness adn assess all of our activities accordingly. Then we received a prophetic report from the Aqua Regia team reinforcing the same! So we did. We have reviewed who, when and how we are serving people and made the decision to cut some good activities to align better with this season's assignment.
I realized it’s not just about adding value in meetings or good activities. Sometimes, even great things can distract us from God’s best for us. I need to prune not just dead or toxic things, but even good things that aren’t aligned with my core vision.
Here’s my challenge to you:
- Do you have a clear vision for your life? What are the non-negotiable values and callings God has placed on your heart?
- What are the good, dead, or toxic things in your life that need pruning?
It’s time to grab the pruning shears and let go of what’s holding you back. Whether it’s fear, busyness, or comfort, don’t let anything stop you from stepping into your God-given calling.
May you have the courage to prune boldly, the wisdom to discern what needs to go, and the joy of aligning with the vision God has for your life. And may you, too, encounter someone who speaks truth and propels you forward into your next season.
Blessings as you pursue the great things God has in store for you!
Next Steps:
1. Grab a copy of Necessary Endings by Dr Henry Cloud and read it!
2. Find your cohort of people who will love you enough to speak truth in love and help you prune.
If this is the Heaven in Business community for you, then make every effort to get to an in-person event (see the upcoming events) or at least join the online community where you can interact weekly (free trial here).